Thursday, February 25, 2010

Song of the Week (Guns N' Roses - Don't Cry)

It's safe to say they don't make 'em like this anymore. I mean F! Whenever I hear this song, I think to myself: don't you cry...because this song is so f'ing baller. For the record, I have never cried...while listening to this song, but it has clearly been contemplated.

GNR bucked the hair metal trend of glammy wussitude (via Poison, Ratt, Wasp, etc.) and delivered some of the most solid rock n roll of (dare I say?) all time. In this particular video, you get the double-barreled Axl / Slash dominance. Axl delivers the sensitive side, like when his girlfriend wrestles the gun away from him as he tries to kill himself, and Slash delivers the ultimate DISS: driving his '66 Shelby Cobra off a cliff with his girlfriend in it, as he shreds the most awesome solo. When done shredding, you know what he does? He f'ing throws that guitar down the cliff, as if to say: "Sup Now?"

There are so many things to cry about these days:
1) you may think the economy is in tatters
2) you may think working all the time sux
3) you may think your neighbor, O'Dowd, is a total beat-down
4) you may have gotten in a battle with your cat, Sam, where he bit your hand...and your feelings

Take Axl's advice: "Don't you cry tonight"

Hope you Dig,

Friday, February 19, 2010

Song of the Week (Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack)


You thought the Mack was gone. Yes you did. But alas, the Mack has returned! This late 1990s hit, ushered in a generation of would-be Macks. You remember when you used to refer to flirting, as mackin'. Like when you were about to get your mack on. Some of us probably even referred to ourselves as Mack Daddys. C'mon! You know there is only one true Mack...and that, of course, is Mark Morrison.

To break it down, Mssr. Morrison was wronged by his, then girlfriend / love interest. I would give anything to interview this girl. I would be all like, why IN THE F did you lie to the Mack? Don't you know you made him cry? You know he's f'ing sensitive! So...sup now? How do you like it now with the Mack throwin' mack down and runnin' the show all over town? You do it to yourself you little Minx...yes you do...yes you do do do.

So, I hereby dedicate this SOTW to all the Macks out there including, but not limited to:
1) Zard - this was basically your Highschool theme song...don't lie, or you'll make the Mack upset
2) Benjamin Bunny - hoppy extended b-day
3) All you other Macks out there who have been temporarily dissed by some punk - little do they know that the Mack will return with avengence...once again

Hope you Dig,

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Song of the Week (Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun)

OK...the obvious song of the week choice is Snow Day by Fred and the Invisible Band. Never heard it? Probably because it totally blows. And you know what else totally blows? Going to work on the what might possibly be the greatest snow day of all time. Personally, I blame the man, and more specifically, the establishment.

You know who else would totally agree with me? F'ing Soundgarden...that's who! In their anti-establishment anthem "Black Hole Sun", they explore the atrocities of modern society. In honesty, the lyrics don't really make much sense, but the video depicts a surreal nightmare montage of terrible people doing stupid things. I for one identify with this.

My Black Hole Sun would wash away the following:
Snow days in which I don't get to participate (you saw this coming)
Dudes wearing Ed Hardy T-shirts
Kanye West
Free Credit commercials (seriously, is there anything worse?)

So FU to all of the above items. All of that said, this song was a pivotal song in many of our comin' up years. I would wager that well over 50% of us can sing most of this song, yet I never even thought to analyze what it means. I think that was the point though. Sometimes meaningless imagery strikes a chord. From The Doors with "The End" to most Shoegazer rock of today, not everything has to have deep meaning like Tag Team's "Whoop (there it is)".

Hope you Dig,

Friday, February 5, 2010

Song of the Week (Garth Brooks - Thunder Rolls)

I've taken a lot of fire lately for my outspoken distaste for the "Country" genre. I want it to be known that much like

Guns : Not killing People as
People : Killing people

Country Music : Not sucking as
Most Modern Country Musicians : Sucking

C'mon, we all took the SAT...please tell me you get it. All that in mind, I decided to dedicate this SOTW to my favorite 90s Country Artist and his best song.

Like many of his contemporaries who write songs about the weather:
Dio - Rainbow in the Dark
Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane
King Crimson - I Talk to the Wind
Guns N Roses - November Rain
I could go on...

Garth Brooks explains the Night the Thunder Rolled. In this Song, Garth tells the story of some dude hooking up with a girl (who is not his wife), and SPOILER ALERT: He gets caught! He compares the Storm currently happening outside to the Storm happening in his wife's heart...VERY deep stuff. This is why Garth Brooks dominates and Modern Country stars are lacking in the domination department. Garth Brooks lyric of all time: "Papa loved Mama, Mama loved men...Mama's in the graveyard, and Papa's in the Pen." = Lyrical GOLD.

Hope you Dig,