Song of the Week (Cali Swag District - Teach Me How to Dougie)

On this, the weekend of our great country's birth, I decided to go with a controversial pick. An up-and-coming Hip Hop crew out of Cali (Cali Swag District) created a Summer anthem by the name of "Teach Me How to Dougie". You may ask yourself: How dost thou Dougie? Well, CSD is here to show you how.

Unofficial / Better Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY9uZWCh4go
Official / Also Kinda Cool Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnPJmDc0b_M&feature=watch_response
Shout out to the Stewardess of Hip Hop: Adriane for the introduction. Otherwise, the Dougie may have come and gone without me even being taught. The real reason for it being SOTW material comes from an unlikely, yet familiar source: Facebook.

Oh Facebook,
1) concealer of crazy ex-girlfriends
2) equalizer of friendship
3) destroyer of employment for posters of "questionable" pics
4) definer of relationships
5) displayer of status updates

Today, I will discuss my take on the status update phenomenon. Sure it's easy to say, OMG why do people find it necessary to share with the world their hopes, dreams, and distaste for all things frustrating (traffic, waking up early, hangovers, Mondays, inclement weather, etc.)? I wish I knew the answer to this. Sometimes I just shake my head and say (in my head...occasionally aloud) WHAT THE F? I've toyed with the thought of de-friending these repeat status update offenders. You all know what I'm talking about.
1) The girl who updates her status with what is seemingly the dumbest giberish ever: Blah blah blah...seriously? blah blah blah? I got a migraine after reading this...and an urge to kill...
2) The girl who just had a baby and writes as if she just discovered the city of gold in Tenochtitlan. I get it...the miracle of birth is incredible. Frankly, I'm more puzzled with magnets...I mean, how do they work?
3) The guy who writes his inner-monologue about the Texas Rangers as if he were the Sports Guy...and yet it reads more like something Grover from Sesame Street might say. It's great that you just had a hot dog at Ranger Stadium...oh...wait a second...I DON'T GIVE AN F!

I've been struggling with why people would write this garbage...and yet...I read it. Almost daily, I will peruse the F-book in search of upcoming birthdays, the occasional photo tagging / wall tom foolery, and...yes...status updates. For the record, I said ALMOST daily. One of the worst offenders of all time is a guy who went to my High School. I discovered something this week, while reading one of his consistently terrible status updates. Although I hate them, I am entertained. Without knowing that "the ladies of Dallas ain't ready for X" or "this is the year of the X" or "this is X's Summer Anthem", I wouldn't know just how rad X is. I think we could all learn a valuable lesson from X: sometimes you have to tell Facebook how badass you are in order for your friend network to catch on.

The Ninja Turtles tell you right up front how sweet they are:
They're the world's most fearsome fighting team [we're really hip]
They're heroes in the half-shell and they're green [hey, get a grip]

And of course Cali Swag District lets all listeners know: "All the bitches love me...all the...all the bitches love me"

Enough of this diatribe. Please allow Cali Swag District to teach you how to Dougie. You won't regret it. And if you really learn it...I mean if you really put your dance moves to the test...maybe...just maybe, all the bitches will love you too. But you know what? The ladies of Dallas ain't ready for YOU.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Echo & the Bunnymen - Bring on the Dancing Horses)

I've been waiting for a while to pick an Echo and the Bunnymen track. I found this week particularly appropriate given a very special concert on the horizon, featuring some up-and-coming maestros of the spoken word over multi-layered post-hip-hop space beats. One of the hottest new bands on the Dallas Music scene is called: Dragonball Z and the Lazer Catz, not to be confused with the equally hot, Post-Art Hip-Rock Outfit known as the Brobots. From what I understand, DBZ & TLC is more of a side project, but I caught a glimpse of their chops last night, and let me just say: OMFG!

Of course, Echo and the Bunnymen was one of several key influencers. For the un-indoctrinated, Echo and the Bunnymen are a post-punk 80s band from the UK. These guys took angst to a level rivaling that of 80s' John Cusack. As legend has it, 'Echo' was the name of their drum machine, and the Bunnymen were the human musical counterparts.

This particular song, "Bring on the Dancing Horses" is accompanied by a very strange video, which will scare young children, but I kinda like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaWs79v0ugE&feature=related

As an aside, I got a haircut today, modeled after Bunnyman, Ian McCulloch (the vocalist).











After I got my haircut, I traveled up to the highest mountain in Dallas, and I stared at the oncoming clouds in wonder and befuddlement. After the clouds betrayed me with rain, I drove back to work in silence. OK, that didn't really happen, but I did get a haircut today. My boss, Phil, said it looks good. He doesn't just go throwing compliments around either. So recognize.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (HEALTH - Crimewave)

Before we get started this week, I thought everyone should know that I made a startling discovery this last weekend. I was at my parents' house and I went to go let my cat, Sam in the house. I found a laser disc in his bed next to his stuffed Lion. When I put the laser disc into my computer, this is what came up:

Sam's secret...

Cats today...what are you gonna do?

The Song of the Week this week is "Crimewave" by HEALTH. The rationale for this is pure and simple...it's a RAD video. Crimewave wasn't really a popular song until the Nintendo Powerful, Crystal Castles remixed it. HEALTH, pretty much kicks a ton of @ss on the reg, while they produce chillwave and witch-house beats with strange lyrics. They have a new album out called Disco 2, which has basically transformed my Summer from kinda cool, to totally cool.

This music isn't for everyone. You can't be any geek off the street. You gotta be handy with the steel...know what I mean...earn yo keep. Basically, HEALTH is exclusively for Regulators. If you don't consider yourself to be in the Regulator camp, then you might as well put on something easier to digest, like the Wiggles...and while you're at it, build me a f'n pillow castle!

So with that said, I present to you this Radical video called: Crimewave (there is a subtle double-entendre)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cLxbAQMeWE&feature=related

While searching youtube...I also came across this equally rad version of Crimewave featuring: TURTLEZ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kssSm6YW1SM

B-day shout out to Raptrick. Stay away from any and all floatillas when you're in Israel...I'm just sayin'...

Hope you Dig,
JZ (aka the Night Owl)

Song of the Week (Arcade Fire - Wake Up)

So, my Intern is leaving today (sad robot face). It's been a bittersweet month. I've enjoyed not being low man on the totem pole, yet his consistent slurping of his coke has caused me great distress. FYI...we've been sharing my office.

The Intern is moving on from my firm to go teach tennis up in the Northeast and then on to Spain for a study abroad program. Seriously, what in the F!? In case you don't know how clueless a 20-year-old is, I highly recommend getting an Intern. You will feel a lot better about yourself, and your bosses will too, relative to this young person who scans bros-icing-bros vids all day. It really reminds me of the carefree days o' college. You may be asking yourself: "Is JZ about to hit me with some hardcore reminiscing?" The answer to that is: Highly Probable.

I was scanning the ghosts of Ipod Playlists past, with names including (but not limited to): C'mon Naw, Die New Best Friends, Secret Party, and Totally Cancelled...I came across an old College Fave: Death Wish. BTW, I was a child of metal, hence the fascination with death...I digress. Many an afternoon running down Duval was spent listening to Death Wish and derivatives thereof. Integral to a healthy College-age JZ listening session, was a large dose of Arcade Fire. When you have seemingly infinite time, it's amazing how many times you can listen to the same song. "Wake Up" provided the perfect "it's bizness time" jolt for the beginning of a run or the beginning of a night of partyness via 6th Street.

I don't wanna get all preachy about the song, but it's a great coming of age song. Kinda makes me wanna stand in front of a girl's house with a boombox over my head blaring this...J slash K.

Here's a video featuring Arcade Fire with the king of Glam/Mod, and a personal hero of mine: David Bowie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-wEBmLht5g

"We're just a million little gods causing rainstorms
Turning every good thing to rust"

Shout out to my boy Chris on this the day of his birth. Your Moo-Cow is in the mail, amigo, via Nashville.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Toto - Africa)

We're gonna keep the 80s power-train going here. This song was requested months back by Messr Staggs. After hearing Toto blast through the speakers this past weekend, I couldn't in good conscience let it pass. I had never seen the video until today, and it doesn't disappoint.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCca5mPMp9A

It's as if Toto formed their band out of the AV club. The Producer probably said something like: "OK guys, we're filming a music video tomorrow. Tom, don't forget to wear your sweatpants. Chuck, you don't want your palms getting sweaty tickling the keys...you know what to do. NO Chris, DO NOT shave that beard! It looks fine...very Africa-y. OK, now Ted...you're gonna need to let that bass guitar ride up to just under your neck. Seriously, this is Toto, not Motley Crue. All: be sure to wear your reading glasses, because we are going to shoot you on a giant book about Africa...except for you Ted...curse your 20/20 vision."

And then something went terribly wrong with filming:
Producer: "Wait a second, that Zulu Warrior was not in the script...what's he doing? OMFG...he's attacking the books with his spears!" Save the books! Save the books! The books are coming to LIFE! Jumanji!

Seriously, I've seen some silly videos, yet Toto took it to a new level with their quirky song about Africa. I mean, isn't this supposed to be a love song?

A few pointers to my main band Toto:
1) Maybe have the librarian do something more sexy than just read books...just a thought
2) Where the F are the Jungle Cats? I need more Jungle Cats. (Duran Duran and Hall & Oates
would certainly agree)
3) Chris...buddy...shave the beard. The beard has got to go. You look like a pederast. By the way, do you drive an ice cream truck?
4) Some lasers would be nice
5) Great song...seriously guys. Just great.

Shout out to Africa...I hope I visit you someday.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Talking Heads - Once in a LIfetime)

Before the advent of Youtube and the widespread dissemination of awesome music videos, the kid with a Limewire-pirated Talking Heads video was the one-eyed man in the land of the blind.

I could go on for hours about the merits and subtle nuances of Stop Making Sense: the groundbreaking Concert Music Video the Talking Heads put out in 1984. The Big Suit, when Tina Weymouth switches her pants for a hot skirt, David Byrne being David Byrne, etc. Many a late night was spent viewing this masterpiece with buddies, and creeping out girls with our unhealthy fascination with the "Big Suit" or the "Psycho Killer Dance".

"You may ask yourself - Well...how did I get here?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

You've all heard the song, and hopefully when possible you have employed one of many insanely rad David Byrne dance moves (as seen in the video):
1) The "How do I work this" arm pump
2) The "African arm chop" - one of my personal faves
3) The "80s Yuppie walk" - frequently seen at after-hours parties in the back room of Dorsia
4) The signature "Byrne Spasm" - often attempted, yet rarely replicated

I feel like I say this a lot: "This is my all-time favorite video" or some derivation of that. I'm pretty sure this really is my favorite video of all time. It's both superficial and introspective. It's both silly and serious. The only thing that could possibly make this video better is...you guessed it...lasers. Or at least a jungle cat...maybe a jaguar or something. I watched this video on my Dell Inspiron desktop computer no less than 50 times...basically until Bonzi Buddy and Virtua-Guy corrupted the sh!t out of my hardrive. Thanks Jonas & Friends.

This song is the quintessential 80s Middle Aged-Angst anthem. I'm sure this song sponsored a host of mid-life crises throughout the world. I just actually had a mini-quarter-life-crisis listening to this song and thinking about a not-so-distant event.

I remember waking up and finding myself on a brown leather couch
I found myself in a different part of Dallas
I looked outside at a small gray automobile
I found myself in a familiar house, with a malicious cat
How did I get here?
...so anxious...

In all seriousness, have a great Memorial Day Weekend. Better to wake up now than when you're 40.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Pink Floyd - Shine on You Crazy Diamond)

I struggled with what to pick for this week. So many things to discuss...ACL lineup announced, upcoming shows, awesome 80s songs, the Great Icing of Neil by Frosty the Snowman...I digress.

Alas, I kept coming back to another upcoming event which has caused me to re-listen to the catalog of an old friend: Pink Floyd. With Roger Waters coming in town this Fall, and with my shelling out an unreasonable sum of money for tickets (btw...I'd like to issue a big FU shout out to Ticketmaster), I thought it was a good time to celebrate the greatest Space Rock band of all time past, present and future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyqgjCKm9nQ

Shine on You Crazy Diamond is much more than the not-so-subtle drug-induced anthem: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles. This isn't a denouncement of the Beatles accomplishments, but simply an acknowledgment that "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (LSD) back in the 60s is roughly the equivalent of my writing a song entitled "Ingrid in the Cellar with Emeralds" (ICE). For those of you who haven't been Ice'd yet, please visit: http://brosicingbros.com/

Behold, an excerpt from the website comments section:
"We just had a heated debate about the rules of Icing:

One of my bros Iced another bro while he was in the shower. But the showering bro was prepared with an Ice of his own to Ice block. The first bro stole the Ice from the showering bro’s shower caddy, and Iced the defenseless showering bro.

Is this legal? Can one bro steal another bro’s Ice blocking Ice, and then proceed to Ice aforementioned bro?

Thanks for the help bros."

I feel your pain young bro...it's a very complex legal question indeed. As of yet, there is no legal precedent with which to draw a validated conclusion. I advise you not to seek the legal counsel of my friend Tom-bone, as he is tainted with the belief that it is legal to steal a bro's Ice and Ice his bro with his own Ice...not f'ing cool.

Apologies for the lengthy "Ice'ing" segue.

Shine on You Crazy Diamond is a tribute to the original singer/songwriter/guitarist and founding member of Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett. Syd Barrett recorded 2 albums with Pink Floyd, and then gradually degraded into mental and drug-induced insanity. While on tour, Syd would do things like gradually detune his guitar throughout a whole concert or strum one chord through a full set. The other members of Pink Floyd eventually became fed up and replaced Syd with David Gilmour. There is a famous story of the group recording the song: Shine on...and Syd actually entered the studio unannounced at the invitation of one of the engineers. No one from Pink Floyd recognized Syd because he had shaved off all of his hair and eyebrows, and was at this point fairly overweight. Roger Waters was the first to recognize him, and he began to cry.

Sorry to bring the party down, but I kinda think it adds a dimension to the song knowing a brief history of the origin.

"Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine."

Hope you Dig,
JZ