Song of the Week (Simon & Garfunkel - Scarborough Fair)

"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?" Seriously, cuz I need a ride, and my broadsword won't fit in my Mini-Cooper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEhAXQ5QQzs

I walked into the office yesterday in this crisp winter air, and the security guard at my building (we'll call him Bob) was walking into the office at the same time. Here is the exchange:
JZ: Hey Bob, how's it going?
Bob: Pretty good. (Bob doesn't know my name)
JZ: Big weekend plans this weekend?
Bob: Well I MAY be going out to dinner this Friday."
JZ: Oh yeah? Where to?
Bob: Well, me and my family are TRYING to go to Medieval Times (dinner and tournament), but you know how Medieval Times is around the holidays...tough to get in.
JZ: I hear that. You know Medieval Times is a lot of fun if the whole group is into it.
Bob: Oh yeah! Well I am definitely into it. I go to Scarborough Fair every year!
JZ: Really?
Bob: Oh yeah, I get all dressed up and everything. Bob starts singing "Scarborough Fair" and then makes some battle axe motions with his mitten-covered paws. Clearly there is a story behind this...is Bob a LARP'er (Live Action Role Play'er)?
JZ: Bob, do you LARP?
Bob: Do you?
JZ: I've dabbled...(I haven't really dabbled, but I had to learn more...seriously! I haven't! I watched this movie one time...whatever.) (Bob bring his hand across his chest and salutes me)
Bob: I'm a level 6 Dwarf Warrior (satisfied look on his face)
JZ: DUDE...that is badass!
Bob: I know.
JZ: Well, good luck at Medieval Times and watch out for Angry Dragons.
Bob: Oh I will!

This happened.

Which brings me to a question: Are Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel players of World of Warcraft? I would wager that they are. If so, have they ever teamed up with LeRoy Jenkins?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkCNJRfSZBU
LEEEERRRRRROOOOYYYY aaahhJAAAAAAYYYYYYNNNNNKKKKIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!!

In all seriousness Simon and Garfunkel are 2 masters of chillwave. FYI Folk music is the original chillwave. I would go as far as to say, without S&G we wouldn't have the likes of Air or M83 which would just be a damn shame. This song reminds me of Christmas...and LARPing. Best listened to curled up in a large chair by the fireplace with a novel authored by Cormac McCarthy or Angela Steele.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Dirty Money - Coming Home)

In keeping with the recent Hip-hop-sploration, I decided to take on "Commercial Rap". I forgot there was such a thing, until I was at dinner with some girl from Atlanta. I asked her what kind of music she liked. She replied: "Any sort of commercial rap, you know like Trey Songz, Akon, Drake, Rhianna, etc." She might as well have punched me in the mouth. The only thing worse than "commercial rap" is "commercial country," "acid showers," "battles with Sam the cat" and "the creepy guy who works at Starbucks in Oak Lawn".

Did anyone else see Diddy on SNL last week (not live, of course)? I mean, how much did that suck? The whole time I kept thinking, if the ghost of Biggie Smalls was in the audience, he probably just died again...for realz. I felt like I was watching the Black-Eyed Peas making out with Kanye (ex-Fergie).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4abRsNZGSsY

In this song, Diddy/Dirty Money/Puffy/Sean (P.Diddy) Combs/D.Piddy, makes a series of proclamations and asks some puzzling questions. I would like to comment on a few:

1) "If you ever been lost in life before, this one is for you"
JZ: If you like things that are difficult to listen to, this one is for you.

2) "What if my twins ask me why I ain't marryin' Momz...Damn, how do I respond?"
JZ: Kids, I think you need to know the truth: P. Diddy like dudes.

3) "If you at home on your couch right now, wave your hands in the air!"
JZ: Seriously Dirty Money? Wave my hands in the air on my couch? Seriously Puff? If I ever go on SNL, I'm gonna say something like: "If you at home on your couch right now, I want you to write a check payable to JZ for $1,000, and then send it to this P.O. Box..."

P.S. I seriously wasn't drinking Hater-ade this week. See you at the klub.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Bun B ft. Slim Thugga and Play-N-Skillz - Ridin' Slow)

Bun B's "Ridin' Slow" came highly recommended from a certain friend with the alias Ben Bunny...coincidence? Maybe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNEfTXYktU4

Immediately comparisons were drawn to Lil' Troy's anthem "Wanna be a Balla, shot calla". I'll admit there are some similarities.

I'll admit, I'm not the biggest "Rap" fan, and I would firmly classify "Ridin' Slow" as Rap, but this song offers something more than the typical "Dance undawatah and not get wet" fare.

1) Bun B reps Texas
2) Produced by Play-N-Skillz. Oh you don't know Play-N-Skillz? Thas a CHOP!
3) Filmed in D-town...SUN
4) I'm a dirty South representer, summertime, spring to the fall to the winter
O.G. in the game, no beginner
Don't take a loss (loss), get with a winner
Lobsters on my plate for dinner (dinner)
And your bitch is the midnight snack (snack)

I love how rappers let you know how good they're living. Next time my boss asks me how my weekend was, I'm gonna be all like: Well, basically I left work and

Snagged more Eatzie's than I could eata,
so I saved the rest up in my freeza.
Went to Cap pub spittin' game at ladies
Then Street Fighter 2 at Barcay-deez

You know, generally, just ridin' slow...

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Some guy...maybe named ISA - Movin' Like Berney)

Not to worry babies, SOTW isn't going anywhere. In compensation for the absentee SOTW from last week, I bring you a very special dance craze that is sweeping the nation: "The Berney"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRBLmogRL4c&feature=player_embedded

"WTF?" is what the layperson might say when viewing said dance craze. Yes, I know it's mis-spelled / awesome.

The truth is that Weekend at Bernies and the lesser-known but equally impactful Weekend at Bernies 2 came out (on vhs) at a pivotal time in my life circa 1990 - 94. The Member's Only jacket wave was cresting. By all accounts, Andrew McCarthy had a bright future. And towards the end of this time frame, dead people learned how to dance when music was playing.

"When it's da weekend, we movin' like Berney!"

You said it ISA! If I had a dollar for everyone I saw "movin' like Berney" last weekend, I'd probably have over $12! Although, I suspect the "Berney Movers" after the wedding had not likely heard of the "Berney".

Shout out to TBS and the USA network for showing Weekend at Bernies (I and II) endlessly throughout the last 20 years.

Shout out to Markus Turner for the video, who also stars as the white guy in the video.

"If it ain't about money, then it really don't concern Meh"

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Die Antwoord - Enter the Ninja)

The annual SOTW Halloween edition is taking a stop in the South of Africa, known as South Africa. I only wish I had more time to fully delve into the motivations of the 3-person wrecking crew known as "Die Antwoord". The three members consist of Ninja, Yo-Landi Vi$$er and DJ Hi-Tek. All I can say is that this band is an enigma wrapped in an anachronism cloak that was purchased at Kids R Us circa 1987.

Die Antwoord reps a cultural movement known as "Zef". It's a white trash style in South Africa featuring discarded cultural references. According to Yo-Landi, "Zef is associated with people who soup their cars up and rock gold and shit. Zef is, you're poor but you're fancy." Fancy indeed Yo-Landi...fancy indeed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cegdR0GiJl4

For a better explanation see this (you won't be disappointed):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_pS46YRMIQ

"Look at me now...all up in the Interweb!"

See you at Ghostparty Derailers.

Hope you Dig,
JZ

Song of the Week (Ghostland Observatory - Sad Sad Kitty)

Does anyone else think the new Ghostland is kinda ghey? I mean it has it's moments, and I still went to the Halloween concert, but I expected more than "Kick Clap Speaker"? What the F is that garbage? While we're on this topic, have you heard "Body Shop"? I was pretty stoked when I heard the opening beat, then a robot voice came on and started saying stupid stuff. Then things start to get real sophomoric: "Wax It! Grind It! Work It! and Ride It!" 2006 JZ may have found this pretty badass, but 2010 JZ thinks it's kinda weak sauce.

For the record if any of my future songs contain a robot voice, that robot voice will NEVER utter the words: "Whatcha gonna do at the body shop?" It will be so much radder...like: "Meow to your Sensai!" or "Prepare to die...seriously I'm about to kill you with LAZERS!"

Don't get me wrong, Halloween dominated. Both shadow and actual karate moves were employed at the concert.

Please observe the mystery that is Ghostparty Derailers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZvaql37rcI

Disclaimer: If I were going to be in Dallas for NYE, I would probably go see Ghostland again. I mean those guys reinvest every last dollar they have in lazers, capes and synthesizers. Maybe they should have reinvested in some decent songs for their new album. OHHHHHH SNNNNAAAAPPPP Ghostland!

Song of the Week (GnR - Welcome to the Jungle)

I know this isn't supposed to be an "Adventures of JZ" blog, but this is all I have been thinking about this week. Tomorrow (or today depending on when this is posted) I will be venturing with 15 other young snappers to that Desert Jungle known as Vegas for Tom-bone's bachelor party. We've been getting "all jacked up" about this weekend for months, and I've been thinking about the SOTW for this week for 7 days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg&ob=av3n
"Welcome to the Jungle" by the unmatched Guns N' Roses is THE quintessential bachelor party song. Runners up included:
1) Highway to the Dangerzone - Kenny Loggins?
2) Legs - ZZ Top
3) Creeping Death - Metallica (I'm just playin'....)

Seriously, when those first echoing Slash guitar chords come on the speakers...you know what time it is. It's a time that is much more serious than "Business Time". It's time to dominate. Like my boy Macho Man Randy Savage...OHHHH YEEEEEEEEAAH



When I tell people I'm going to a bachelor party in Vegas, I keep getting: "Oh! So, are you guys gonna be like the guys from the Hangover?" No Mom. It's not gonna be like The Hangover. Chinamen are not jumping out of trunks, and Mike Tyson is not going to reclaim his Tiger. I really don't think any of that would be awesome. I'm picturing something much closer to 1984 Tom Hanks' Bachelor Party. Clearly more fun than the Hangover.

Rest assured, when "Welcome to the Jungle" comes on at the club, and you know it will, prepare yourself for the most awesome Hi-Five of your life. It's gonna hurt.

Hope you Dig,
JZ