Song of the Week (Cali Swag District - Teach Me How to Dougie)

On this, the weekend of our great country's birth, I decided to go with a controversial pick. An up-and-coming Hip Hop crew out of Cali (Cali Swag District) created a Summer anthem by the name of "Teach Me How to Dougie". You may ask yourself: How dost thou Dougie? Well, CSD is here to show you how.

Unofficial / Better Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY9uZWCh4go
Official / Also Kinda Cool Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnPJmDc0b_M&feature=watch_response
Shout out to the Stewardess of Hip Hop: Adriane for the introduction. Otherwise, the Dougie may have come and gone without me even being taught. The real reason for it being SOTW material comes from an unlikely, yet familiar source: Facebook.

Oh Facebook,
1) concealer of crazy ex-girlfriends
2) equalizer of friendship
3) destroyer of employment for posters of "questionable" pics
4) definer of relationships
5) displayer of status updates

Today, I will discuss my take on the status update phenomenon. Sure it's easy to say, OMG why do people find it necessary to share with the world their hopes, dreams, and distaste for all things frustrating (traffic, waking up early, hangovers, Mondays, inclement weather, etc.)? I wish I knew the answer to this. Sometimes I just shake my head and say (in my head...occasionally aloud) WHAT THE F? I've toyed with the thought of de-friending these repeat status update offenders. You all know what I'm talking about.
1) The girl who updates her status with what is seemingly the dumbest giberish ever: Blah blah blah...seriously? blah blah blah? I got a migraine after reading this...and an urge to kill...
2) The girl who just had a baby and writes as if she just discovered the city of gold in Tenochtitlan. I get it...the miracle of birth is incredible. Frankly, I'm more puzzled with magnets...I mean, how do they work?
3) The guy who writes his inner-monologue about the Texas Rangers as if he were the Sports Guy...and yet it reads more like something Grover from Sesame Street might say. It's great that you just had a hot dog at Ranger Stadium...oh...wait a second...I DON'T GIVE AN F!

I've been struggling with why people would write this garbage...and yet...I read it. Almost daily, I will peruse the F-book in search of upcoming birthdays, the occasional photo tagging / wall tom foolery, and...yes...status updates. For the record, I said ALMOST daily. One of the worst offenders of all time is a guy who went to my High School. I discovered something this week, while reading one of his consistently terrible status updates. Although I hate them, I am entertained. Without knowing that "the ladies of Dallas ain't ready for X" or "this is the year of the X" or "this is X's Summer Anthem", I wouldn't know just how rad X is. I think we could all learn a valuable lesson from X: sometimes you have to tell Facebook how badass you are in order for your friend network to catch on.

The Ninja Turtles tell you right up front how sweet they are:
They're the world's most fearsome fighting team [we're really hip]
They're heroes in the half-shell and they're green [hey, get a grip]

And of course Cali Swag District lets all listeners know: "All the bitches love me...all the...all the bitches love me"

Enough of this diatribe. Please allow Cali Swag District to teach you how to Dougie. You won't regret it. And if you really learn it...I mean if you really put your dance moves to the test...maybe...just maybe, all the bitches will love you too. But you know what? The ladies of Dallas ain't ready for YOU.

Hope you Dig,
JZ