Friday, December 28, 2012

Songs of the Year (???)

Greeting Fam.  It's that special time of year, when we look back on the year and make the tough decisions:  what music will be immortalized on the playlist called life?  And what will join the simply "listenable" and other weak sauce that came out in 2012?

This year I took a spin through Pitchfork's Top 50 tracks to get a legit feel for the Indie music scene.  I must say, some was brilliant, a lot of it was not good and some was just "meh".  Below are my findings and other takeaways.

JZ's Top 10 traxx of 2012:
Chromatics - "Kill for Love"
This band came to my attention via the raddest movie of 2011/12:  Drive.  Well, I watched it in 2012.  Since then I have waited for this album with baited breath.  It delivered.  Look for Chromatics traxx in various other awesome movies like Bellflower - whoa.

Grimes - "Oblivion"
Perhaps the most heavily hyped indie-songstress of 2012 is Grimes.  I must say, Grimes lives up to the hype.  She has a style all her own that is odd, melodic and upbeat.

Frank Ocean - "Thinkin Bout You"
This SNL performance destroyed.  If you haven't heard of Frank Ocean or his killer album, Channel Orange, you need to go to Spotify immediately and stream.  You won't be disappointed, unless you hate rad traxx.

Purity Ring - "Fineshrine"
It was tough to choose the right Purity Ring track.  It's a fairly recent infatuation, but Fineshrine is as good as any, and probably the most accessible of their spliced-electro style.  Check it out.

Jai Paul - "jasmine"
This is the diamond in the rough, so to speak.  It's the only track from Pitchfork that I hadn't already heard that made it to the top 10.  It's so strange, yet addictive.  Definitely worth a listen, or 10.

Beach House - "Myth"
Yeah, the nu Beach House delivered.  Beach House is one of those bands with a distinct sound, that doesn't mess with the recipe.  You wanna ride the chill wavves?  Pop in some Beach House.

Odd Future - "Oldie"
Those who know me, know I'm not much of a rap-guy.  But, the mixture of strong laid-back beats and the twisted lyrics of Tyler the Creator, et al make this a song to remember for 2012.  It's on my doin' work (not to be confused with werk) mix, believe it or not. 

Sleigh Bells - "Comeback Kid"
YES!  Sleigh Bells was probs the best concert of 2012.  That or M83 (round 1).  I can't decide, but either way, these guys have something special.  They have combine listenable metal riffs with a hawt alt-girl-former-teacher whose vocals matchup perfectly with the wall of Marshalls spewing forth sound

Danny Brown - "Grown Up"
OK, here is the best video I've seen in a bit.  It features an awesome little kid, that just F's stuff up left and right.  Reminds me of the oft-overlooked gem from Sagat:  Funk Dat (re:  kids F'n stuff up). 

Atoms for Peace - "Default"
How in the F did I almost miss this one?!  Atoms for Peace is what you call a super-group.  It features:

Thom Yorke - vocals
Flea (Chil Peps) - bass
Nigel Godrich (Radiohead, Air, Beck - producer)  - guitar, synth, keys
Joey Waronker (Beck & REM) - drums

The first time I heard it, I got goosebumps.  It's just that good. 

Honorable Mention:  Nu Crystal Castles.  I just haven't listened to it enough yet to have a great opinion, but if it's anything like I or II, it will get some serious rotation

Summing up this list, I conclude that either music is getting decidedly stranger, or I am.  Either way, I'm on board.  I mean 2012 is when M83, a French electro-pop mastermind, became a household name.  I mean, Purity Ring?  Could this have happened in 1992?  Any other time, and it would have faded into electro-obscurity.  Second observation:  rappers are getting less hardcore.  They just are.  There are still a few who keeps it real, but even the thugs, have been de-fanged.  I saw some clip of DMX crying about his mama on TV.  I guess that's how Rough Riders are rollin' these dayz...

Much like Highlander, there can be only one Song of the Year / Album of the Year:
1) SOTY:  Atoms for Peace - "Default" (see above)
2) AOTY:  Chromatics - Kill for Love (ok, it's not ALL good, but there are at least 6 rad traxx and at least 2 killer traxx (killer > rad).

See you in's gonna be a great one, I can already tell.

Hope you Dig,

Friday, November 16, 2012

Song of the Week (Y. N. Rich Kids - Hot Cheetos and Takis)

Sup there fam.  This week brings us a long awaited SOTW discussing the most important meal of the day:  Snacks!  My sister, Zard, sent this to me and has been requesting an SOTW for months.  At long last, I give you:

Hot Cheetos and Takis

This video is the absolute jam.  These kids have some sick rhymes and produced a pretty legit video.  It even rivals the oft-overlooked Lazer Katz, who took the world by storm in the summer of 2010.  Clearly, the best kid is the little skinny one that just'll see.     

This vid got me thinking about awesome snacks.  There is no disputing the awesomeness of hot cheetos, but who here has even had a taki?  Show of hands?  OK, only 2.  That's what I thought.

What were your hot cheetos and takis?  Mine were blue gushers and string cheese.  Not at the same time you silly goose!  The string cheese was combined with nacho cheese doritos in a 1 part cheese:  2 parts dorito ratio.  The gushers were savored at the end of lunch with half of the pack eaten one at a time and the remainder stuffed into my mouth all at once, washed down with a luke-warm caffeine free coke.  Yeah, caffeine free (the gold can).  My mom was weird like that. 

Oh but just because I'm 30 doesn't mean snack time is over.  Au contraire.  The only difference between now, and 20 years ago, is that my mom can't limit my gusher intake to one pouch.  Well, I have actually moved on from starbursts and skittles.  Red starbursts and skittles!  Red starbursts and skittles!  I can't get enough of them red starbursts and skittles!  Snack!  This isn't going to make sense unless you watch the video.
The other day, I was interviewing people about their fave know, doing research for SOTW, per uge...when I got an unsolicited response from Sam the cat.  Keep in mind, I was interviewing people...not cats...

So apparently, Sam the cat is keen on Fancy Feast and crickets.  I was like:  "ummm...yeah that sounds awesome Sam...really...tasty."  Then he tried to insert a rap about it, but it just came out like "meow meow meow meow meow-mow..."  I was all like:  "Sam, you can't rap meow with meow over and over, you stupid idiot!"  Then he bit me, ran and hid under the bed.  Sam, I got some bone bread from Eatzie's with your name on it!  #breadingcatsainthard


Hope you Dig,

Friday, October 12, 2012

Song of the Week (Herman's Hermits - No Milk Today)

It's already here!  That greatest of football Saturdays known as TXOU or the Red River Shootout.  Rest assured, it's gonna be a milk-bath!

Now in their epic track:  "No Milk Today" Herman's Hermits was really trying to get across a somewhat obtuse point:  there will be no milk today because the Oklahoma Sooners sucked it all up.  I know...I was shocked by this as well.  How could a 60s era Brit-rock band even know, much less care about the Oklahoma Sooners?  Rather than bore you with the lengthy explanation, I'll just give you the short version.  In 1963 there was a massive milk shortage in the U.S.  This was around the time of the "British Invasion" of Brit-rock in America (Beatles, etc.).  On their first tour, Herman's Hermits were in the Dallas area around October.  They went to a local grocer to inquire about obtaining some milk for their tea, and the grocer replied:  "I'm sorry chaps, but the Sooners have sucked it all up."  They sucked so much milk that we're all tapped out.  There you have it:  "No Milk Today."

So, here's to hoping the Sooners will, yet again, suck milk.  And on Sunday, when history is written, the Longhorns will be able to say:  No Milk Today.

Hope you Dig,

Friday, October 5, 2012

Song of the Week (Krispy Kreme - Best Friends)

Greetings Fam.  There has been a lot going on in the world of SOTW's author:  new business endeavors, new travels, new friends, new grey hair and new music.  But one thing has stayed constant:  Best Friends.

Before you laugh and say:  "Hey JZ, have you been sucking milk or somethin'?"  I advise you to view the following music vid from the creative genius known as Krispy Kreme:

Yes, "Best Friends" follows up such breakthrough hits as "The Baddest" and "Haters Wanna Be Me".  This guy is awesome because he is probably aware that his lyrics sound like they were written by a 13-year-old.  He is 13 after all.  But these beats is dope.  Seriously, I'm impressed.  Put it another way, I'd rather listen to Krispy Kreme, who keeps it real and always has his best friend's back in a fight, than milk sucker #1:  Kanye.

Speaking of having best friend's backs in fights, shout-out to my boy Neil for keeping it real when some would-be thug tried to rob me in Barcelona last week.  That was a "BF" move. 

The greatest part about Krispy Kreme's instant classic:  "Best Friends" is that 13-year-olds really do talk like this.  Rewind to 1995, and you could probably find me and my BFs, Ben and PT talking about how much "back" we have and who has more "back".  For the record PT had the most back because he had an older brother and all the back of his brother's friends who, at 14, were much larger than us.  We could only dream of having so much much f'ing back!

We also biked everywhere.  It was the vehicle of freedom.  It allowed us access to untold amounts of mischief.  Ben's bike had pegs too.  So, you may have seen us rollin' by on Dead Cat Gorge on the reg.  Total BF-move.

This video, other than the use of handguns by 13-year-olds, is pretty much my childhood.  Just take out the rapping, and insert metal.

This one goes out to all the Best Friends out there.  You know who you are.  Shout out to T-Smith for the Krispy Kreme find.  That and the Chili Peppers concert made my week.

Hope you Dig,

Friday, August 24, 2012

Song of the Week (Fatboy Slim - Praise You)

Dream of the 90s is alive in...Dallas!

This week brings us something that really embodies a different side of the 90s: Techno. Don't act like you didn't like techno, because you did. I was there, and I saw you liking it.

Love it or hate it, techno was part of the Dallas scene. For a period of time in the 90s, Dallas was an epicenter of international techno. Pioneering the warehouse/underground rave scene, Dallas pulled top DJs from across the planet (mostly Europe, NY and L.A.). One such DJ is Fatboy Slim.

If this song doesn't make you wanna dance, then you are a robot. And if you are a robot that doesn't like to dance, then you're a robot I don't wanna hang with...FACE!

This video is one of my favorites from the 90s. I remember watching it on MTV and then spending the next 3 hours downloading a low-res audio version via Napster on my dial-up AOL-enabled home computer. Back in the 90s when you saw a video on MTV, you had to just keep watching MTV until it came on again. Youtube was but a dream.

Today we've been Tosh.0'd to death with a nouveau version of America's Funniest Home Videos. Except Daniel Tosh is a Nancy'er version of Bob Sagat. And MTV is a shadow of it's former self. Just watch "Guy Code" or "16 and Pregz". Do you think kids today will hearken back with nostalgia about 16 and Pregz via their blog, circa 2030? I really hope not.

Thus concludes our 2-week 90s-exploration. This is your final gentle reminder to purchase your Back to Bayside tickets: Ticket Registration

If anyone can replicate these dance moves tomorrow night...I'll just lose the best possible way.

Hope you Dig,

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Song of the Week (Blackstreet - No Diggity)

Heyo heyo heyo heyooooooo!

When this song comes's not just bizness time. It's a full on bizness conference call with the New York, London and Beijing office. This conference call has been on the calendar for 6 months so don't even think about missing it, Bob. I don't care if you do have a parent/teacher conference, it can wait, BOB! No Diggity, SUN!

In case you don't know, there is a crucial 90s party coming up circa August 25th. I for one cannot wait, not just because it's Saved by the Bell themed, or because it will be open-bar all night (both great reasons to party), but because we have instructed the DJ to play No Diggity no less than 3x. Play on playa.

I've been trying to think of a costume. It's actually much harder than for an 80s / 70s / 60s party. I think it's because we came of age in the 90s. Sh!t I still dress like I did in the least more so than how I dressed in the 2000s (the oughts) a boss.

Now, this isn't exactly true. If I am being intellectually honest with myself, I'm wearing hot pink and purple umbros and rockin' a No Fear shirt. Sure I had a brief grunge phase, but that ended abruptly circa 9th grade when suddenly we "graduated" to become "preps".  How disappointed I am now in how easily I donned a denim Gap shirt in exchange for my Metallica "Master of Puppets" shirt. Real disappointed...

"Curve's the words, spins the verbs, lovers it curves so freak what you heard" - (I don't even know what this means, but it is one of the greatest lines I've ever heard)

In other news: I want everyone to think positively for Friends of SOTW, Pussy Riot. Here is an all-female Russian punk band who were arrested on "hooliganism" charges and sentenced to 2 years in prison. If there is one thing the 90s and SOTW stood/stand for it's sticking it to Putin (re: privatization & hooliganism).

PS: buy your Back to Bayside Tickets here
PPS:  Bday shoutout to my boy Markus.  Being 30 is totally rad...seriously. 

Hope you Dig,

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Song of the Week (Summer Anthem 2012)

It's that Summer Anthem yall!

Flashback: Summer of 1996 (aka Summa '96)
It was a great year in music. Seriously, from La Bouche's "Be My Lover" to Smashing Pumpkins' "1979", it was a great time in music. MTV hadn't started sucking so terribly. Seal was in his age of prominence #Don't Cry. A young JZ was focused on doing work (#mowinglawns), doin' werk (#mostlyunsuccessfully), and bombing tracks (#studiogangsta #stillwaitingonmyroyaltychecks). The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Flashforward: Summer of 2012 (aka S-12)

A reasonably young JZ, in his 20s, is doing the exact same thing. Sure there are a few notable changes, but seriously, I mowed my parents' lawn a few weeks ago...while listening to Soundgarden. Do we ever really change? Probs not. Probs not, indeed.

Yes, I realize that this song came out prior to 2012, but 2012 is when "A Real Hero" started getting serious rotation on the JZ playlist of life. Yes, I also realize that this was a SOTW months ago. But, how can I deny the Summer Anthem status? I simply Kant. What makes a good Summer Anthem? Well, it has to be totally radd for one. It also has to be versatile enough to get play on the "ride home from work mix" as well as the "poolside chill mix". The last test, and potentially most important, it has to be sing-along-able. "A Real Human Being...being...being..." 'Hero destroys all of these.

Ya know who's not a Real Hero? Kanye. One Direction and Pitbull are also not Real Heroes. They are, however, Real Terrible...#FACE.

You know who is? Sully. This song was actually written as an homage to Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger III. Remember Sully, the pilot that landed that plane on the Hudson River? Now, that guy is a Real f'n Hero.

I request that you all immediately download College's "A Real Hero". Play it 10 times today. Then tomorrow night, during a fireworks display, play it at least one more time.

I hope everyone has Real Heroic 4th of July and Summer.

Hope you Dig,

Friday, May 4, 2012

Song of the Week (M83 - Teen Angst)

What’s that feeling? It’s that Teen Angst, y’all! Yes, I’m aware that M83 has been getting a lot of play on the SOTW circuit, but in case you didn’t notice, M83 is totally rad.

Don’t act like you don’t get teen angst, because you do. We all get a little teen angst every now and then. Hell, I’m getting some teen angst just writing about it. I feel like there are 2 types of angst: teen and real talk. Real talk angst encompasses work, family, stock portfolios, diplomatic snafus, health, gang violence and the like (#realtalkangst).

Teen angst is much more interpersonal. It’s like when you walk into a party and someone makes fun of your shoes (#teenangst). Or, when your cat, Sam, bites you, even though you’re just trying to feed / pet him (#teenangst). I’ll tell you who doesn’t get teen angst: Sam the cat. I’ve never met a more angst-free creature on the planet. I think it’s because he has memorized the lyrics to “Teen Angst” by M83.

I realized last night, that this is my fave M83 song. It seems to come on my playlist at the right times. It's upbeat enough to get some PT at a party, yet it's indie enough to garner street cred. The lyrics are minimalist, like most M83, but also awesome.

Birthday shout out to Hurricane Gordo, and early birthday shout out to Big Dad. Who knew that two of my close friends would turn 69 in the same weekend!? And finally, wedding weekend shout out to Ponisher. One thing is for sure, the cure to teen angst is birthday partyness! And marriage! Oh wait…teen/marital angst setting in…

I wish everyone a teen angst-free weekend.

Hope you Dig,

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Song of the Week (College ft. Electric Youth - A Real Hero)

You know what totally sucks? Flo Rida...

My sister, Zard, told me that recent SOTWs have been pritty weird. Well, I have good news/bad news: this is likely to continue.

This week brings us a hit from the minimalist synthy College (ft. Electric Youth). "A Real Hero" is the current front-runner for Summer-anthem. Past winners have included: Flaming Lips, M83 and Turquoise Jeep. This song was featured prominently (played like a music video) in the Indie film: Drive. I think this might be my favorite movie of all time. I don't just throw that around lightly. That movie straight up dominates, and this song is a critical aspect of said domination. Best listened to on Friday on your way home from work with the windows down and at a spring/summer party.

Now, I'd like to discuss a very important matter: the spring/summer party playlist. Most people, including this DJ, think they have the code cracked on party playlists. It's kind of like when you ask people if they are good drivers. Most people will tell you they are good or excellent, but this can't be true. This is a zero-sum game and not everyone can be a good or excellent driver. In fact, some people are terrible drivers. Likewise, not everyone can be a good or excellent party DJ. Now, the most interesting part is that when alcohol is introduced, these delusions grow, and I would argue this growth is exponential vs. linear. Around 3am, I've seen (been) some (one) of the greatest DJs of all the ears of said DJs.

I was recently told by a friend the elements of a good party playlist:
1) upbeat party music
2) throwbacks / 80s / 90s
3) old school rap

It's so simple, yet so effective. An objective analysis of playlists past, I abided by these tenets, yet I also threw in what I would call spice: Metallica, Health, Ween. What? That's good music! I realize the fallacy inherent in my arrangements: I play music I think a few people might appreciate (and everyone should!) rather than what the masses actually WANT to hear. It took me ~17 years to figure this out.

The problems with the spring/summer party playlist are manifold:
1) EVERYONE is a critic (tolerance decreases when alcohol is introduced)
2) Just one misstep and you're toast (I've yet to live down my Metallica - "One" selection from 2010)
3) Haters - some people are just not going to be happy with whatever is played
4) Interlopers - if you aren't careful, your Ipod will be replaced with Silly Mix 2000-late when you go to the bathroom

As you can see, the pitfalls are plentiful. Why open yourself up to attack like this? Well, because you could be responsible for an impromptu dance party. You could introduce a summer anthem that will get airplay all summer. In other words, you could "prove to be a real human being...and a real hero." Isn't that the goal?

Hope you Dig,

Friday, February 24, 2012

Song of the Week (LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem)

Does anyone still watch Jersey Shore? I'm ashamed to admit that I do. That media cycle of newness > familiar comfort > reaching for content > jumping the shark has played out the tragic archetype that is television. Few programs get it right and stay in the newness / familiar comfort zone. The Wire is a clear example of this.

Those kids, who are now adults acting like kids (feel familiar?) have transformed in a few regards. For one, they are insanely famous now. The media juggernaut of MTV/Viacom has ensured this. For two, they are incredibly jaded. Think what it might be like to be the center of attention everywhere you go. You get free stuff at every turn. Everyone wants to DFMO (dancefloor makeout) with you. People who wouldn't normally give you the time of day, are in awe of you. After a few years of this, you're going to get jaded.

For three, these are not interesting people, no matter how much MTV's editing (many times out of chronological order) tries to convince us otherwise. The novelty of watching Italian caricatures do stupid sh!t has worn off.

The critical question here is: why am I just now figuring this out? Why?

Well, I found the music equivalent of Jersey's called LMFAO. This stands for "really awful music, seriously it sounds like beavers who are having nightmares." For real though, you've seen "Beavers" right? Sweet doc.

Question: Who the eff is this Lauren Bennett chick, and which party rocker did she have to DFMO with to get in this video? Was it Sky Blu? Or was it Redfoo? I didn't just make those names up. They were chosen, prospectively by the party rockers themselves!

Everyday I'm strugglin' to find out why people listen to this garbage. My guess is that Messrs. Sky Blu and Redfoo made a deal with the devil. Their deal was that they would experience completely unwarranted success for 3 years, in exchange for their souls. I mean it looks like they raided my sister's closet circa 1991 for dance clothes.

Please watch this video. It is one of the most awesomely terrible videos of all time. It's like Thriller, but the worst thing ever. I'm sorry, it's nothing like Thriller.

Breading update: Sam the just got BREADED

Sammy, let me be the first to say: FACE!
In case there was any question, Sam hails from Siam, so we decided to give him his traditional sun cap. Needless to say he was really embarrassed. Now who's laughing who's laughing indeed...HAHAHAHAHA...hahahahah...HA HA HA HA! cats were harmed in this breading.

Hope you Dig,

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Song of the Week (Sleigh Bells - Comeback Kid)

Oh Sleigh Bells just dropped, and it is so RAD! One thing I love about this band is that they have pop sensibilities combined with an intentional disregard / distaste for pop. English: they write stuff that sounds good but they don't give an eff about mass appeal, choreography, etc.! I realize I'm setting myself up for disappointment here, but for now Sleigh Bells is in the perfect zone of indie-cuspiness to maintain ultimate street cred. Think: Arcade Fire circa 2007.

After watching the video for the "Comeback Kid" I noticed a few things:Link
1) Alexis Krauss is still super-hawt
2) Jumping on beds with guns seems like a really good idea (not sure why I'm just now drawing this conclusion)
3) Alexis has some sick new dance moves, which I plan to incorporate into my "rock moves" collection alongside the "brickbreaker" and the ever-versatile "raven"

Sleigh Bells are either an enigma or a very clever marketing gimmick. Their songs feel like the soundtrack to an evil pep rally. It's what you would listen to before competing in Battle Royale, or on your way home from work on Friday. Honestly, 16-year-old John is freaking out right now, because metal is being combined with electronica and hawt girls aka Rick Santorum's nightmare.

Quick update on cultural happenings: Unless you've been captured by robots, you've probably heard of "cat breading".

Some of you have asked: "Hey JZ, has Sam the Cat been breaded yet?" This is how it went down: When I told my Dad what I wanted to do, he just stared at me confused and said: "Sammy wouldn't like that." I told him: "that's for Sammy to decide." We agreed that if I can catch him, I can bread him. Alas, Sam must have been eavesdropping on our breading convo, because he would have none of it. He evaded me all across the house, ending up under my parent's bed in battle-cat pose. I conceded defeat, but I haven't forgotten. After all this cat breading craze has died down...when he least suspects it...I'm gonna be all like: PAKOWWW! Bread in yo FACE, SAMMY! Then he will have to sit there, embarrassed as I snap his photo for all of the other cats and people to mock...Wahahahaha!

Birthday/Farewell shoutout to young T-Smith. Good to know we will have another master out in L.A. You'll be missed.

Hope you Dig,

Friday, February 10, 2012

Song of the Week (DJ Shadow ft. Little Dragon - Scale It Back)'s been a few minutes since the last SOTW...all apologies. Needless to say, a lot of great music has happened in that time.

This week brings us something a little more avant garde. Dap/props to Chet for sending this along a few weeks back. I hope Dap makes a comeback.

DJ Shadow is a colossus in the world of post-hip hop and sampled music. He's best known for creating the masterpiece, Endtroducing consisting entirely of sampled music and sounds circa 1996. The real beauty of this skill is that his music sounds completely original. Compare this to Girl Talk, by most accounts a successful sampler. But his mashups are created to remind you of songs you already know and love. He wants you to recognize a Van Halen guitar lick or a Tupac rhyme and reminisce. PS my roommate Patrick was mashing-up back in High School. It was called: Pumpkin Party.

DJ Shadow, on the other hand, seeks to grab strange, esoteric beats, licks, piano parts, vocals, etc. and create truly original music that bends genres.

I'm not sure how he built this track, but it's all I can think about for the last few weeks. Little Dragon band/vocalist, obviously has a lot to do with that. You'll hear more about this incredible new fave Indie band known as Little Dragon (great name) in coming weeks. No fancy wobble bass, no overproduction...just clean drums, acoustic piano and vocals...well maybe some production.

The video is pretty crazy as well...and by pretty crazy, I mean RILL crazy (watch the whole thing).

Thus concludes the music portion of SOTW, and thus begins my diatribe on something I heard last week. I asked this guy how he was doing, and he said: "You know, I'm ballin' on a budget." I love this phrase. He wasn't the first to say it, but he is the first to say it to me, in which I laughed. It's not quite the $30k millionaire. It says, hey! I ball! But I'm practical about it.

Who can't relate to ballin' on a budget? I'm not sure many of my friends are truly ballin' yet (including this author), but thus begs the question: how does one truly a budget? Is truly ballin' just the absence of a budget? In that case I know tons of people who are ballin'...not to be confused with BOCMF (Ballin' Outta Control Muthr F#kr).

Hope you Dig,

Friday, January 27, 2012

Song of the Week (Seal - Prayer for the Dying)

Greetings fam. Many of you already know that I don't read People magazine. It is also understood that I don't often surf on TMZ or any related celebrity gossip channels. But you would have to be living under a rock to avoid the Seal / Heidi break-up.

When asked about his recent split, Seal had this to say: "No I'm never gonna survive unless Heidi stop actin' crazy..."

I'm not really sure why this happened, so I'll venture a few hypotheses:
1) Seal got too big for the couple. It's the reason Brian Jonestown Massacre broke-up (they're back together). It's the reason Herman Cain is no longer running for President (he's too big for the U.S.). Heidi, simply, can no longer "hang" with Seal.
2) Seal discovered that he has superpowers. Don't dismiss this. This is my explanation for a lot of things. Magnets? How do they work? Superpowers. That's how, you silly goose. This is the reason Newt Gingrich broke it off with his past few wives. One of his super powers is the ability to leave his wife in the hospital! SNAP! Too soon?
3) This is part of some genius marketing campaign to gen up sales of Seal's newest album: Soul 2. I find this hypothesis the least likely of the 3.

When "Kiss from a Rose" came out, I was found myself asking: is this the greatest made-for-a-movie song of all time? I was thoroughly convinced that Seal was all like: "Me fancy Batman. Me must write a totally mental song for his movie." Seal is British and this is how he talks.

I have since come to find out that this wasn't the case, thus jeopardizing my Seal narrative. No matter. I should have known that Seal was bigger than Batman Forever, which plays like one long music video. The only win in that movie was Mr. Freeze, played by Arnold. Remember Offspring's terrible song: "Smash It Up"? A perfect juxtaposition to Seal's "Kiss from a Rose". When I think back on some of the stuff I listened to circa 1995, I feel pretty good about most of it: Nirvana, Soundgarden, Metallica, Rage, Seal. Offspring...not so much.

Seal is the guy that you secretly like, but you're embarrassed to admit it. When "Prayer for the Dying" comes on are you like: "Man...this isn't deep at all. It totally doesn't sound like birds taking flight or the earth shifting."? Probs not. Probs not, indeed.

Heidi, give Seal another chance. But seriously, if that doesn't work out, holler at meh.

PS...whatever happened to the suit with no shirt underneath?

Hope you Dig,

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Song of the Week (Mr. Mister - Broken Wings)

Bass: Bom bom budom. Bom bom budom bom.
Vocals: Take...these broken wiiiiiinnngs!
Keys: Wah Wah Wah Woah

I was watching MacGruber the other night and I realized something: this movie is pretty legit. Seriously, I LOL'd at least 5x throughout the film. There is this scene where MacGruber gets shot (spoiler alert) and Kristen Wiig's character is extracting the bullet with pliers. Then they du it. "Broken Wings" starts playing and hilarity ensues. I quickly youtubed "Broken Wings", because I'm not wikipedia, and I learned that the illustrious "Mr. Mister" laid it down. This made me laugh even harder.

Mr. Mister also makes me think of Happy Gilmore (re: The Meesta Meesta lady).

Mr. Mister had a few minor hits, but "Broken Wings" was pretty much it. Don't look up the rest of their catalogue, cuz it sux (case and point: Hunters of the Night featuring an Iguana). This song was basically a rip-off of Maneater. Shame on you Mr. Mister! There, it worked! However, no one can take away the awesomeness of "Broken Wings". If I ever go to a Mr. Mister show, they better play "Broken Wings" exclusively.

Birthday shoutouts to Zard, Tom-bone, Springbreak Smith, Hoge, Monica, Katie, etc. Prouda y'all. A lot of my friends' parents were probably lighting some candles, drinking some wine OR Tab and listening to something like Broken Wings circa 29 years and 9 months ago. Yeah they were!
Note: I'm aware that Broken Wings came out circa 1986
Style points: awesome haircut, raybans and trench coat with rolled up sleeves

Hope you Dig,